Families Change Teen Guide to Separation & Divorce

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Many teens really believe that their parents will get back together. They try very hard to make it happen by being on their best behaviour.

Sometimes this is a way of denying what is really happening, in order to protect yourself from the painful reality.

Chances are, your parents reached this point only after trying very hard to save their relationship, and their decision to separate is final.

It's hard, but it's probably better for you to begin to accept the situation as it really is, and get used to the changes that you are facing, in order to get on with your life.

Q & A

Q:
My parents are splitting up. Why?
A:

There are many reasons why parents decide to separate. And with each couple, there might be one main reason, or a whole pile of reasons.

Parents usually try very hard to solve their problems before they take action. If you're not sure what your parents' reasons are for separating, you can always ask.

Q:
I really feel like I need some help. Who should I ask?
A:

There are lots of people around you who can help. Tell your parents, teacher, school counsellor, family doctor or another adult you trust.

If you aren't getting the help you think you need, keep asking until you get it.

Q:
Can I do anything to get my parents back together?
A:

Most parents separate only after trying very hard to save their relationship. Some teens hope and believe that if they try to be on their very best behaviour, their parents will get back together.

However, this plan isn't likely to work, since their parents' decision to separate had nothing to do with them. Their decision to separate or divorce is usually final.

Q:
If my parents divorce, will the same thing happen to me?
A:

Many teens whose parents separate feel anxious about their own relationships in the future. But just because your parents separate doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you. What happens in your relationships will be up to you, not your parents!

Q:
I'm feeling really upset and confused about my parents separating. Is this normal?
A:

It's natural — and entirely normal — to experience some intense emotions. You will feel better over time. There are lots of ways to help yourself feel better, and people who can help you if you need it.